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27 mayo more than a year~~~`i have no idea why i open my space again~~~ my last entry was more than a year now...sigh... i guess im really a lazy person a year...things change a lot... i have experienced sth i never expected to experienced~ all most every single of my friend are married... include my best beloved friend grace... and also...she is going to be a mum this year too congrats baby...although i still dont believe wat has happened... oh....another big change too im graduating for my master tis june... OMG.....tat means i need to get a job now... hmmm....tis is not a very pleasant fact~~~ wish me luck and pray for me all of you... i really need some luck now... i guess i will just leave it here tis time.. i dont really know wat to say now... hope my next new entry will be recent... 21 abril DT Concert and Marry YearsVery very tired now.....
but my very unhealthy sleeping habbit keeps me awake....
 maybe i should really change the way i spend my times on...
but it seems so hard....coz all the lectures are at the night...
and i have nothing to do during the days....
sitting there with a big bright sun shinning over my head makes me feel useless...
 it is now the recess week,
tat means....our finals begin next weeks....
i dont really knwo wat i feel now....
just very very fed up about projects and the exmas...
tat makes me has no mood to do my revision....
poor me...when is it all gonna stop?
maybe i should really get myself a job....
I went to see DT's concert on last sat....
i got to say....
if the concert is in anywhere else in this world would be far more exciting in than it is in SG
ppl here just sit and listen for most of the time.......
the stadium is very very small....with a not so good looking stage decor...
if it is not DT in there but some other lousy singers....
tis concert would sucks....
but since it DT in the house...
tat really makes things different....
it reminds me those very first few months when i with my lovely hon hon...
we just sit in our room and listen to his song...
hmmm.....it is defintly some sweet memories...
 hey,,,,,dont u guys relise tat these years are the marry years of our age group...
everybody around me its getting married,,,,
and most of them are very surprising....
u know the days tat i spent with them are still flashing like it was in yesterday....
i still remember wat we talked in the nights...
how we cheated in the exams...
...and so many...
but its like all of sudden...
ppl around me are all grown up...
u know when u r still a kid you wish that u can grow up fast and do watever u wan~
now we all did grown up and have the freedom to do wat we wan
but im still seeing myself much more like a very naughty and spoiled kid tat still messing around.... and i still refuse to accept the fact tat im a grown up now...
anyway...at least let me be a kid in the heart...
the world have enough grown up already...
i dont have to be one of them....^_^
04 abril 我想念外婆~~~~很想很想~外婆走了~妈妈说外婆走的很平静，很自然....虽说已是意料之中~可心里面还是好像被人掏空了一样~一想起来还是头痛欲裂~
在我7岁以前的回忆，似乎大部分都是与外婆在一起的~因为爸爸妈妈都需要上班~所以除了在学校的时间以外~都是外婆在照顾我的起居生活，最早的记忆似乎是一岁多的时候，那时候还在乡下。外婆的额头上有一个疤，是我拿晾衣服的竹子给敲的，当然不是故意的~那时候的我只是一个屁大一点的孩子~连话也不是很会说，当然，我也不确定是不是我自己的记忆~可家里人每次跟我说的时候，乡下的房子，手里的竹子，跟敲下去的那一刻，似乎都历历在目~
我总觉的我的外婆最疼的就是我~因为在我各种各样的原因，7岁以前的我是唯一一个在外婆身边的外孙，而我妈是外公唯一的血亲，我自然就是外婆最宝贝的外孙女了~据我妈说~外婆疼我疼到恨不得把粥在嘴里嚼碎了再喂我吃~对此我一点都不怀疑........因为到了最后的时候，外婆一听到我的名字的时候，还在呢喃着怕我受委屈..............每次想到这里，我总觉得自己很没有用，已经长这么大了~怎么还让人这么担心呢~
思绪很乱，写的更乱，算了，只是给自己看的.....想到哪儿就写哪儿吧~
外婆总是把我宠的无法无天，从小到大一直没变，只要我一撒娇了，外婆总是想办法为我达成。小时候一二年级的午休，只要家里没有人，外婆一定会带我在院子里面玩，玩到快要上学了，外婆就会牵着我的小手，帮我拿着书包带我去学校，经过的小吃店或多或少我都光顾过，因为我总是受不了零食的引诱，而外婆也总是由着我，无论我要什么，她都没有拒绝过....外婆对我的迁就，就连有时候我爸我妈也看不下去，因为6岁时胖胖的我，总是不原意自己走楼梯爬上四楼的家，外婆总是无怨无悔的让我压在他瘦瘦小小的背上把我背回家，有一次刚好爸爸在家被他看到了，被他说了我和外婆一天.....可是第二天还有以后的很多天，外婆还是把我背上了四楼...
外婆似乎也是我的避难所，小时候只要我爸的声音一大起来，我总以为他跟我妈要吵架了，我就会躲在外婆的怀里哭，而外婆总是搂着我，轻轻的安抚我~~家里任何人说我，外婆都会为我辩护，我要是做了什么调皮捣蛋的事，外婆也总是会为我掩饰，没有念过书的外婆甚至会想着帮我做作业~被我妈打的最厉害的一次，没人敢拉着我妈，外婆还是把我紧紧地抱在怀里~口里面说着别打了别打了.......
我很小很小的时候就跟外婆睡在同一间房直到12岁，以前家里没空调没风扇的时候，外婆总是一直一边给我扇风扇，一边给我讲故事，调皮的我总是在旁边闹来闹去，外婆忍不住睡着了~也总会被我闹醒，让他给我讲各种各样的故事....外婆似乎没次都会很无奈的跟我说，我很累了，要睡觉~可我总会无理取闹，直到外婆答应为止，而每天晚上这种情况总是要发生几次，外婆后来是在受不来，就把我暂时放在我爸我妈的房间睡觉了~过了没多久，我们就搬家了，而我也再一次跟外婆睡在一个房间，可是那时候似乎长大了一点~晚上再也不闹外婆了~而是乖乖的睡觉了直到我12岁去了寄宿学校~
12岁似乎是一个转折点~所有的东西好像跟以前在也不一样了~我去了寄宿学校，家里添了一个新成员，外婆也在那年因为一个意外，而不便于行动，我因为很少在家里，跟外婆的感情就慢慢的疏远了~而似乎从那一年开始，外婆每一年总是会不小心的摔在楼梯上一次，而到最后最后，外婆就不怎么走的动了~从07年开始，外婆似乎只能从他的房间让人搀扶着走到楼下的客厅晒太阳了~~~~~
写了很长很长，没什么逻辑，上面的只是回忆中的一小部分，还有很多很多的回忆与感觉写不出来，大部分时间我也不知道在写什么~脑子里面的都是回忆的碎片，它们总是不经意不定时的像洪水一样涌进我的脑子，可是外婆走了，以后每一次回家的时候，都不用再给外婆打招呼了，走的时候，也不用给外婆报备了~以后再也不会有我跟我外婆的回忆了.....
我想念我外婆.....
16 marzo Project Project....all coming at the same time and they are piling up....Well....whoever is reading my blog....Please bear in mind that i cant really used proper english....hahah....dont blame me....english its my second english...im not that good while i was in uk....now...its actually getting wrose....coz i dont need it everyday....LOL
now its actually getting towards the end of my first term in tis "lovely" country, as the matter of fact...everything is beginning to piling up, such as homework, project.....and yet another projrct...well...its actually my fault....coz you know...im the kind tat leave everything in the last min...so now i got noone to blame but myself.....hmmmm....tis is a very unpleasant fact to find out....
 Im feeling very disappointed about the china mailing servise, i dont wats wrong with them, they just cant delivery any mail to home...i dont know wats going on you know....they could b4 my second year of my university....but i never recevied any mail from my school after the summer holiday....tis is a disaster you know....and it just so unconvinenti....i have to redirect all my stuff to my friend, and ask her to send it to me with a chinese add on....omg....i dont know how much trouble i still need to go thro....anyway....im just speechless by their servise.....
Oh.....one more thing...i got my finger tip cut at cooking once again in the same place, same finger, and in those same special day for me in every month....maybe i shouldnt touch the kitchen when i was dizzy....anyway....its 1 and half day now...and it look like it still bleeding....
i should really go to sleep now...my eyes are tearing...and now i actually look very much like a panda with cut finger and a very messy hair...wish you all have a great dream and also to myself..... 02 marzo worrying....Today....once again I found out that im later for the internship apply....tat makes me very very worrying you know....i should have started earlier...how come im always later than others? Anyway...nothing i can really do now...so i guess all i can do its try my best to find one....
you know wat...today i went to a career fair with my beloved one....and i saw someone tat have changed my life...he is the admission head of eng department in leicester uni...tat time...he help thro the faculty board and let me get into enigneering department, and im just so glad tat i have transfered...otherwise, i might still struggle in uk, dont know wat am i doing...and might never get a proper degree...it actually reminds me alot seeing him today...and i just wanna say thank you, if its not him...i might still wondering around the street...dont even bother to do a thing about my life and dont know how to come home without a proper degree....
now my life has entered another stage...i dont know wat its gonna look like in a few years time, i really dont have any confidence about myself....you know sometimes when i think about wat i can do just make me stress out and cant really belife...i guess everything starts with uncertainty...and i hope it would turn out alright tis time and please pray for me my friends.... |
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